Friday, May 6, 2016

Trump Nominates Clone for VEEP

In a stunning move, presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump named himself his running mate today in front of a stunned audience in New York.

Trump said he will be creating a clone of himself and that the clone will serve as Vice President of the United States if he is elected President in November.

Immediately, constitutional scholars cried foul since the Constitution states that the President and the Vice President must live in different states.  Trump said his clone will live in Chicago at the Trump Tower and work from there, "I think you'll find my clone is very very capable of running this country.  He's a very very smart guy in many many ways."

As for the legal questions, Trump says there's nothing to worry about, "I have many many people looking at his, and I think I'm on very very solid ground, legally. These people are the best legal minds, let me tell you. They are very very smart people."

Trump said he considered several people including former Indiana basketball coach Bob Knight, "I mean, how fun would that be? Bobby Knight as my number two?  I mean, Putin would think about walking away from that table.  He might get a chair thrown at his head or get put in a choke hold, let me tell you."

As far as the fine details, Trump says the clone will be an exact replica of himself right down to his "huge hands" and that there won't be any problems anywhere else, "If you know what I mean," Trump said.

Trump continued, "My clone will be the best Vice Presidential nominee ever. I can't think of anyone I'm more excited about running with than myself. I'm very very excited in very very many many ways. I think that me and myself will do a great job."

Reached for comment on the campaign trail, Hillary Clinton said that the prospect of not one Trump but two spells double trouble for America. She said that she would be naming her running mate closer to the Democratic convention in July.

Bernie Sanders had no comment other than to saying he will be continuing his campaign on to November regardless of what happens at the Democratic convention, "We will be the nominee of the Democratic Party even if we have to pretend we are."

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