Saturday, May 12, 2012

Lugar Will Be Free in January: Top Ideas for Future

Richard Lugar has spent a lifetime in the public eye, and I believe he's going to have a hard time stepping away from it so easily even at the advanced age of 80.  Perhaps if a certain current Secretary of State decides to hang it up for Obama's second term, as she has said she might, maybe the Prez can make a phone call to Senator Lugar.  I can't really think of a better candidate.

But, just for fun, I made a list of a number of things that Senator Lugar can now do to relax and let his hair down a bit if he decides to get away from the public eye.

  • Invest in Bermuda shorts, long black socks, slip on shoes, a straw hat, and a cabana shirt and buy a mobile home in a retirement trailer park in Florida
  • Grow out his hair and a beard and become a professional Gandalf impersonator
  • Become a cast member on Betty White's Off Their Rockers
  • Nose piercing with a navel chain
  • 3:00 a.m. daily prank calls to the home of Richard Mourdock
  • Just randomly walk around the city and keep saying, "I'm Richard Lugar, and I approve this message."
  • Two words: Wal-Mart greeter!
  • Buy a new car and drive around in the fast lane slowly with the left turn signal on.  Preferably on stretches of road where there are only two lanes of traffic.
  • Start practicing for Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest
  • Become a Spokesman for Life Alert
  • Develop a New Game Show for former World Leaders called "Let's Make an Arms Deal"
  • Sleep in until 6:30 a.m. and go to bed after Jeopardy!
  • Finally get around to writing that romance novel
  • Use skill as shrewd arms negotiator on America's Got Talent
  • Begin every sentence with, "BACK IN MY DAY."
  • Get that detailed tattoo of the Senate Chamber on his back
  • Try to qualify for the Indy 500
  • Start a gang with other ex-Senate friends called the Upper Housers
Any suggestions you have for the soon-to-be former Senator?  Keep them civil.



Perform on Dancing with the Stars.

Anonymous said...

Leadership positions with:

Carnegie Endowment for International Peace

Institute of International Education

The Aspen Institute

United States Ambassador to the United Nations

Institute of Nuclear Materials Management

Create his own organization

Stephen Terrell said...

uWalk around with a shirt that says:

"I'm Richard
Murdock's a Dick"