Friday, July 9, 2010

Republicans Targeting Popular Singer for Run at Obama in '12

By Jon E. Easter

Indy Democrat's Washington B.S. Bureau is reporting that RNC Chairman Michael Steele was seen near Lady Gaga's tour bus on Saturday evening. The Rumor Bureau reports that Steele is trying to get Gaga to run for President in 2012.

Forget that it's completely illegal for Gaga to run (because she is well under 35) and that Gaga's stated political views would seem to be more left than right, Steele said, in an exclusive interview only imagined here, that Gaga would be a great candidate. "Hey, Gaga has more fans on Facebook than Obama. We have to react to what the kids want," said Steele.

Gaga could not immediately be reached for comment, but her publicist said that Michael Steele, "Should not call her name...don't call her name...Michael Steele-o."

The White House said they would not have any official comment other than Sasha and Melia Obama "love Lady Gaga."

Two weeks ago, it was announced that Gaga had surpassed the President in Facebook fans. The Huffington Post reported that Gaga now has 9.5 million fans to Obama's 9.3 million fans.

Former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin expressed concerns about Gaga, "Well, you know. Bristol just loves Gaga, but I'm just not so sure she's got what it takes. I mean she just does the singing thing and has the expressions about the gays and can't see Russia from her house. Maybe she should just stick to doing the thing where she sings and talks about the things she does with the things she talks about, you know?"

Other Republicans were more welcoming. Contacted at the wrong number, Senator Richard Lugar said that he would support a Gaga run if legal, "I think she's an extraordinary young performer and artist with a bright future. Char and I enjoy doing the Charleston to Just Dance and Poker Face."

Mitch Daniels, a rumored 2012 Presidential candidate, definitely did not say, "Well, if she brings in the youth vote, I'm all for it."

Glenn Beck immediately launched a crusade against Gaga. He had an hour-long tirade using everything from Play-doh, livestock, loose leaf paper, a sword swallower, and a Ronald Reagan mannequin smoking a marijuana cigarette in opposition to Gaga. Reached at his vacation home at Rush Limbaugh's house, Beck said, "She's a danger to the fabric of the country I love. That I have fake cried for many times. (Dramatic Pause) That I...I mean...our founding fathers made great. (Dramatic Pause) I am not gaga for Gaga."

Windy Windresson of the Defense of the American Family Conservative Preserve the Tea Party Republican Institute was flabbergasted, "How could the GOP approach this lady. She has connections to the illuminati. If elected, the fabric of our country will tear apart and we will all fall to the core of the Earth."

Indy Democrat's B.S. Bureau will keep an eye on this story.

Editor's Note: As if you needed to know this, nothing in this post is true other than Gaga surpassing Obama in Facebook fans. Scarily, some if it makes sense though. Did I mention I love Lady Gaga? Still, I'd vote Obama.

1 comment:

Mark said...

It would be illegal for her to run for president because she's well under 35? Come on, wouldn't it be a bit hypocritical for anyone to ask to see her BIRTH CERTIFICATE at this point? :-)