Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Yosemite Sam's Floundering Candidacy Ends With Withdrawl

For the second time, Yosemite Sam has apparently withdrawn from the Marion County Sheriff's race. The withdrawl is somewhat surprising since an exclusive Indy Democrat poll had Sam five points ahead of slated Republican candidate Dennis Fishburn but well behind Bart McAtee. The poll had a margin of error of +/- 100.

Contacted at his home, Sam told me he had no comment. When I pressed, he said, "YOU! YOU! YOU'RE MAKIN' ME SOOOO MAAAAAD!" Then, he shot the phone five times.

I did talk to his more calm campaign manager, Foghorn Leghorn, and he said, "I say...I say...Son...we had no chance. We thought we knew could beat Fishburn, but there was no chance at beating McAtee. He's on TV, Son."

None of the other Republican candidates could be reached for comment. A source from Marion County Clerk Beth White's Office which spoke only on the condition of anonymity said, "We are using a new form of white out on the ballots. You won't be able to tell that Sam's name was ever there."

Leghorn said that Sam wished he had joined the race for the 4th District Congressional race, "I say...I say...I think we coulda taken that Rokita."

When I asked what was next for the former Wild West cartoon gunslinger, Leghorn was a bit coy. "I say...I say...He likes that 25th Floor of the City-County Building. I mean, if Ballard can run this city...son...who knows?"

Of course, if Sam does run, he might have to explain this one to voters...


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh! Sure would like to see someone paddle Brizzi's behind like Foghorn Leghorn does to that dog character that chases him. Ah, barnyard justice would be so sweet...

Anonymous said...

Yosemite Sam reminds me of that idiot sheriff from Tucson. Just as Sam shoots off his pistols without much logical thought, so sheriff whats-his-name seems to shoot off his mouth without any thought behind it. My image of the western sheriff, ala Randolf Scott or Audie Murphy, is forever destroyed.