Monday, April 26, 2010

An Open Letter to Carl Brizzi

(It may help if you think of handwriting sound effects as you read this)

Dear Carl:
Boy, you do have yourself in a pickle here, don't you. Is it Vlasic? Hah...sorry...couldn't resist on that one.

Uh, yeah, so your party wants you to resign. Your County Chair wishes you'd go away. Your predecessor and mentor spoke out against you. The only person that seems to back you is that guy on the 25th Floor of the City-County Building...and I'm wondering if he even knows what's going on half the time. Things are looking pretty bad. I just want you to know, that I'm here for you. If you ever want to respond, get things off your chest, or otherwise vent. Just send me an e-mail or drop me a line. You sound like you need a friend right now. Just don't get too close.

Anyway,'s it going? Life treating you well otherwise. How about those Colts? They had a great year. Looks like they've really switched things up out there at 16th and Georgetown, huh? Weather's been amazing this spring...WOW. Haven't played any golf yet, but I'm hoping to soon. Ok, enough chit chat.

Let's get to why I really am writing this letter.

While a poll I put up on my blog overwhelmingly favored you falling on your sword and calling it quits, I don't want you to resign. The fact is that you are good for this blog. You may be...what was it Scott Newman said...something about harming the public's trust in the office, but the fact is you're pretty good for business here.

While I refuse to make this blog an ad billboard, I do kinda like it when my hits go up. The mere mention of your name shakes loose, on average, 100 or so more hits whenever I write about you. So, I'd say you're pretty good for the readership here. Take that for what it's worth. Honestly, I'm pretty stoked about the thought of you staying in office for the remainder of your term. The possibilities are endless!

On one hand, I truly do feel for you. I mean, you apparently did somethings here and there and thought no one would dig too deeply to catch you. Darn IBJ! The fact is, Carl, buddy, I do feel a tinge of sorrow for you. You were at one point the star of your party, but your career in politics is likely at least on hiatus after this mess is over. That's unfortunate, and I do mean that.

Then, on the other hand, there is this seemingly pollyanna disconnect where you believe if you just say that you've done everything by the book and that this is a PR problem this all will go away. You do realize though that your wounds have been pretty much self-inflicted. Contrary to what you indicated on Saturday's Crime Beat, this is not a media-generated controversy. You did this. It was your actions that have put you in this situation, and you can't blame anyone else.

Anyway, so, yeah...maybe we can hit the links or something this summer. I assume you do play golf.'s about it. Thanks for being great blog fodder. Keep up the good work!

For the sake of the office, you should resign, but, for the sake of my blog and the handful of others out here like it, as NYC news anchor, Ernie Anastos so eloquently said in September, "Keep (expletive deleted)ing that chicken!"

Best Regards,
Jon E. Easter

PS-If anyone didn't get the Ernie Anastos reference, here you go:
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Intro - Ernie Anastos' Catch Phrase
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party